Pounding heartbeats

Can't shake the feeling something bad is about to happen. And it's got to do with you.

Never forget

The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.

He makes me lie down in green pastures,

He leads me beside quiet waters,

He restores my soul.

He guides me in paths of righteousness

for His name's sake.

Even though I walk

through the valley of the shadow of death,

I will fear no evil,

for you are with me;

your rod and your staff,

they comfort me.

You prepare a table for me

in the presence of my enemies.

You anoint my head with oil;

my cup overflows.

Surely goodness and love will follow me

all the days of my life,

and I will dwell in the house of the Lord

forever.

Psalm 23

Just trying to be a friend

Helpless but hopeful

Some posts ago, I mentioned that I'd changed. Feeling as though I stopped caring about people but putting up a facade to prevent others from discovering what I really felt.

I was wrong.


Of late, I've been feeling quite aggravated - aggravated at people's actions, their speech, their decisions. And I couldn't quite understand why I was feeling that way, especially to certain people whose behaviors, I thought, were reasonably justified and I was in no way angry at any of these people.

It slowly dawned on me, later, that I was trying so hard to rationalize my feelings with my head that I neglected to see exactly what they were. Feelings; emotions; things from my heart. I have become so emotionally hardened that I could not even recognize how I felt about everything going on around me.

Thankfully, this lead to a greater revelation. One that helps me believe that I am growing.


Through the events of the past week, I've come to realize that I still care a great deal about the people around me but I don't quite know how to express that care anymore. So many people I know, too many in fact, whether close and dear or known only by name, are hurting. For a variety of reasons - break-ups, physical tragedies, whatever. And there's nothing I can do about it. I'm helpless.

I'm fully away that they need to work through their issues themselves. But it frustrates me to no end that no matter what I do, it doesn't take the pain away from them. My heart aches to the point of breaking seeing everyone hurting. Why is there such a concentration of pain and hurt, in recent days? What is happening? It's too much. I wish I could hug all their pain away. But the world doesn't work like that. I wish I could find the right words to say to bring them some comfort. But I don't know how to anymore. I'm stuck.

Instead, I get annoyed with all my helplessness and take it out on them. As if they need anymore pieces of worry on their plate. What kind of friend am I? :( yeesh.


What good is a big heart if I can't use it properly? Am I using it right?

Summer To-Do List

There are just so so many things I want to do over the summer. And for want of not forgetting any of them, I will list them out. Right. Now.

To Make: Crafts
1. Cropped Top - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rZG0z7iE9ik
2. African Tribal Necklace - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aL2eSUyr8B8&feature=relmfu
3. Geographic Necklace - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h8k-3dwtqJU&list=FLDgilRFQ60xnmVBs9LtsFaA&index=4&feature=plpp_video
4. Stacked Bracelet - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xBGWWIta33c&feature=related
5. Wooden Key Hanger

To Bake/Cook:
1. Chocolate Fondant
2. Risotto
3. Pizza
4. Cinnamon Rolls
5. Mac and Cheese
6. Baked Cheesecake
7. Sun-Dried Tomato Bread
8. Peach Jam
9. Chocolate Mousse
10. Lasagna

To Read:
1. The Hunger Games
2. Catching Fire
3. Mockingjay
4. Wuthering Heights
5. Great Expectations
6. The Scarlet Letter
7. The Great Gatsby
8. The Odyssey
9. Aesop's Fables

To Watch:
1. Step Up 4
2. The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
3. The Artist
4. Hugo
5. One Tree Hill Season 9
6. Charmed Season 8
7. The Avengers
8. The Vow
9. The Lucky One
10. Chuck Season 5

This list is not exhaustive. I'll add to it as and when things come to mind.

Stuck in a Rut

The beats, lyrics meld into a single rhythm.

Drowning out the world. Drowning out the confusion.

Offering temporary silence.

Helping with.

Getting nowhere.

We will reap a harvest if we do not give up

I won't give up on us

Even if the skies get rough

I'm giving you all my love

I'm still looking up

I won't give up on us

God knows I'm tough enough

We've got a lot to learn

God knows we're worth it

For all the people that matter, I won't ever give up on you.

You are always loved.