Obstacles..

Sigh.. Tough times are what im facing now, in so many ways. Whats a girl to do?

This is what i get for wanting to help. Makes you wonder, "whats the point? Why help ANYONE!! This is the way they're gonna take it. Is it worth is??"

I can't help but think these things.. And i feel like giving up, seriously i do. My heart's hurting too much.. To know a friend has lost all faith in you, totally dissapointed with you. Should i just shut up and hope everything gets better on its own? Step up and do something about it?

Well the truth is, im scared. Really scared.. To lose a friend, to have let a friend down. I feel like crying everytime i think about it. How stupid i am. DAMN!! IM SO STUPID!!!! I wish i could just curl up and fade away, like i never existed..

That way, i cant hurt anyone anymore. Cant dissapoint anyone anymore. Cant angre anyone anymore.

Wouldnt that make everyones life a whole lot easier.

Yet.. Iv said it before. I only wanted to help. Thats who i am. Maybe i should have kept my mouth shut. Maybe i should have let you be. Or maybe, my words werent read with its subtext. My words, with all its good intentions, were taken the wrong way. Whatever it is, its too little too late now.

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Iv been sick for the past week but im finally feeling better. Thank goodness. But now iv gotta catch up on 2 days worth of work and more. Crap.

Sigh.. tomorrow's Valentine's Day.

But you know what, i think this years 14th of February is gonna be different for me, in a good way. Im finally happy. I dont feel like i need to hide behind someone elses shaddow. Happy just to be know as an individual. Proud to know that i was made in HIS image. I dont have to hope for someone to be my valentine. I dont need one. God has always been my secret valentine :D I just never saw it.

In truth, i think Valentine's Day is so over-rated. Everyday is valentine's day. Everyday is a day people should tell the people they care about that they love them.

So..

To all the people in my life, in and out of Malaysia, (and yes, you guys who're reading this too)

I LOVE YOU BEYOND WORDS!

Good times and bad times. Thats what im facing. Well, i guess i'll just have to take the good with the bad. Thats life. Without the downs, you cant appreciate the ups.

It wouldnt be called life if everything was always peachy and feel-good, thats for sure.

To you couples out there, dont cramp how you feel about your special person into one when you should be doing it all year round :)

To the singles, dont worry be happy. You've got friends and family to spread the love. :)

God is our refuge and strength.

Psalms 46:1

XOXO From yours truly. HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY <3