a page of life

A few words and a song to sum up how I've been feeling lately about a matter that cuts close to the heart:

I'm not sure why but of late, my head's been filled with memories of the past; memories of him.

It's pretty frustrating because I'm happy for him for moving on.

But I do miss him, miss what we had. A lot.

Then I kick myself in the head for how subconsciously uncommitted I was to the relationship.

SO stupid to allow the past to greatly affect the future,

with such potential for happiness.

Basically, I have commitment and trust issues.

And what I need to do about it:

Pages of Life - Tyler Ward

Now this is over

Over between what you've wanted to be

Nothing can change now I'm ready to breathe

Time to Fly
Mark this one down in the pages of life
Say goodbye
Further and further away from the night

Child-like Faith

When exactly is it that we stop being kids?

And start the never ending spiral into the grown-up world,

full of responsibility and somewhat total lack of randomness.

When that day comes for me,

I hope to be nearing my end.

Here's to a life full of inspirational creativity, world altering thoughts, sufficiently mature responsibility and absolute RANDOMNESS (to keep the heart pumping and laugher levels sky high) !

There's always a little truth behind every 'joking',

A little knowledge behind every 'I don't know'

Good observation, no?

Too bad I didn't come up with it :P

Oh well, at least someone thought of it.

movies

A multitude of emotions. UP and DOWN.

A series of suicidal thoughts.

The endless doubt.

The invisible self-esteem.

One week later.

I'm finally seeing the potential brightness of the future. I admit, I'm still feeling a tad too emotional, but definitely better than I was and definitely away from the negative side. Most of which I must credit to the most random movie.

High School Musical 3: Senior Year

Isn't it somewhat magical the effect some movies have on you? I mean the scenes, the words, the music all in all giving you new inspiration; a hope that things will get a little better. Even though you know it's fictional and that there are many more factors to consider in the "real" world. Still, people associate with the plot they watch on the big screen.

Relevance? It has similarities to the situation(s) they're facing in their own lives.

Why? Because they want so much to believe that it is possible to overcome.

Correct me if I'm wrong but I think in the history of movie making, there isn't a single one that leaves people discouraged after watching it. Sure there are movies that leave its audience unchanged emotionally, like those slap-stick humorous ones I.E. Austin Powers but never one that dampens ones spirits.

All people want (and need) is a little bit of HOPE.

not the end

. Ayesha . Weng Yee . Kaykay . Lucas . Kim . Anthea . Pammy.

I'm really going to miss this whole bunch...

We've come so far from just being classmates. To me, they've become an extension of my family. Each one adds their own unique edge to the group, enriching the "family".

But what do you expect! With this bunch, not a single day of the past year and a half has been boring. Lameness, sick jokes, out-of-this-world creativity, unparalleled wit and care all in, they've made my A-levels experience everything I hoped it could be and then some.

Being around them has helped me grow in different ways. All leading to make me more capable of standing on my own two feet. I just hope that I have made an equally significant difference in their lives as they have mine.

It's tough, not knowing if we're going to see each other again after everyone goes their own way even though we say we'll keep in touch. Because I know I won't meet the same kind of uniquely weird group of people in the next leg of my life.

I'll just have to hope. Hope for the best :)

Work that wall baby

What?

Maxim Wallcoverings

-The Art of Wall-

Easycook

Where?

1. Maybank Treats Fair

2. MF3

3. Perfect Living '10

Why?

1. For the fun of it. What else to do with so much time on your hands.

2. Of course, the mooolaah ;)

3. Different kind of work experience.

4. See the world from the other end of the looking glass (sales person to consumer).

How?

Out of all three exhibitions, I must say by far(!) the Maybank Treats Fair tops the lot. That event to be was real fun because there weren't any expectations set besides having to stand and look pretty. So the driving force to sell came from within, no external factors added :P Best of all is that I got to meet a bunch of new people, all great at what they do. First time wearing a Hanbok too. The research was fun, wearing it was a nice adventure too. But ONLY the first time. After that, it felt more like a chore.

MF3. SSSSIIIIGGGGHHHH.....

In a word, that's what the ordeal felt like for me.

Definitely the best looking display of our product among all exhibitions. But also the most frustratingly annoying. In every possible aspect. The management. The products. The consumers. And, probably the most frus point, the lack of communication. The situation greatly affected my performance. Of course, it was cause much to my own short comings i.e. low self-esteem, competitive spirit, over emotional personality... No doubt this was totally avoidable, as it's always a choice to let something affect you or not. In retrospect, it's good that I encountered this and reacted the way I did 'cause now I know how I should behave. Lesson noted.

This weekend's Perfect Living'10 exhibition takes a close second in the ranking. This time, I still wanted to prove myself, but it wasn't my main goal. I just went with the flow, letting the money take a backseat in my priorities. So that made things more fun. But this fun was repeatedly doused with showers of cold water. Serving the customers was my high time, especially some customers who were appreciative of getting to know the product, whether they ended up buying or not. The unavoidable interaction in between with the irritatingly-irritated one wasn't pleasant though. Practically everything I did was not satisfactory, and the constant brush-outs didn't help either. It got seriously annoying because I don't know WHAT it was that made me get this kind of treatment. Is it because I got another job? Or rather WHO i got the job from? Is it because there's someone more capable to dote on? Whatever it is, the most annoying part was the level of openness to the favouritism shown. Isn't moderation key, as they say?

What's next?

Well, given the recent exhibition, that depends on whether I'm still considered a valuable aset to the company. Only time with tell ey?

Note to self:

MUST BECOME MORE CONFIDENT. GROW A BACKBONE DAMMIT!

You're out

Strike 1 - You've put to rest my queries. Case closeD.

Strike 2 - You've laid my burdens to rest. My Calmness spreads.

Strike 3 - You've just poured it all down the drain. No Home run for me.

Just another chump stuck on the bench, hearing coach's naggy voice.

Baseball has never been my thing.