jealous

When is it that people feel the emotion called jealousy?

Why is it that they feel this emotion?

What causes this emotion?

These questions that have been running through my mind the past couple days. In conjunction with feeling this dreaded JEALOUSY. It's stupid because I know it's something I shouldn't have surface, particularly in this situation. But it keeps coming up. And it's blurring my judgement and destroying my objectives.

But forget that for a second. Lets bring some focus back into my life.

So I think that people actually come to "jealousy" through wanting to be the better of the lot.

What do I mean?

Well, you know how you see someone in the same situation as you, given equal circumstances, but they seem come out of it with better results than you. Or has an overall better attitude about it. You end up having a mixture of envy and a need to have what the other has. that "need" soon fills your mind. And all you end up thinking is "I want that. Why can't I have that?"

Yes, that's what I mean.

It's probably due to the whole 'champion' quality that we all have in us. You know what I'm talking about right? The whole best sperm gets to the egg thing. Yeah you catch my drift.

It's pretty childish and stupid really but everyone encounters this emotion. No matter how humble the person may appear to be in the outside. The ones who seem like they never get jealous, they're just very good at controlling their emotions and lying.

Then again this may be something that I came up with just to make myself feel better about the whole thing.

Go figure. Humans. Such complicated and strange creatures.

I'm pretty much turning into a biiiiish lah. Damn.

I will be the undoing of myself.